ssshhhhhh

Describing joy is really hard
hard to put into words
the feeling that you feel when you feel joy
it doesn't happen all the time
it's like a fleeting instant kind of thing
that pops up now and again
unplanned
hard to sustain
eventually it kinda fades
no matter how hard you try to keep up
i felt incredibly joyful siting at Le Gamin today
alone.
there it is.
said it.
apart from my kids. pablo. my life. free
being alone i felt free and joyful.
it is really important to be alone.
we can't think if we are not alone.
unless youre that buddhist couple that lives in a yurt
and stays no more than three feet away from each other at all times
and manages
they must hafta mediatate a lot
so they can think
its no wonder
thoreau retreated away to walden pond
and nietzsche et al
ponder solitude
moses, buddha, jesus, mohammed, kafka, rilke
retreated
freedom from constraints
and freedom to engage in desired activities
i however devote a significant amount of time and attention to cultivating relationships
having and raising and spending lots of time with my children definitely contributes
i need to find away to balance my energy
solitude featured by physical isolation, social disengagement and reflection